Babel vs. The Fountain
Sunday, January 28th, 2007This article is semi-serious and not really funny, I just had to vent.
Well, I have had over the past two days the fortune of seeing these two movies, which I cannot begin to contrast so greatly. One of them is the visionary movie that finally sees Inarritu come of age and get the Oscar nominations he has deserved since before 21 Grams, and the other is the self-indulgent mess which saw Aronofsky come of age and completely undo all the great work he had done with Pi and Requiem for a Dream.
Or so people would have you believe.

I fucking hate Babel. Under regular circumstances, I would have to saw it’s a poor movie, but given the critical acclaim being showered on it like jizz at a playboy party I cannot help but hate the thing.
I remember seeing Amores Perroes (could be wrong spelling, don’t give a shit) I remember thinking what an overhyped hack of a director. I remember then seeing 21 Grams and thinking my god Sean Penn is amazing and Naomi Watts thoroughly deserves that Oscar. I don’t remember what happened between then and now but somehow I managed to fool myself into thinking that the unholy union of Alejandro Inarritu and Guillermo Arriaga were just short of Batman and Robin in the pantheon of awesome.

Given, Arriaga is the lesser of two evils, but not even he should be unashamed off this mess of a movie. The only people who should come out of this piece of shit with any sliver of dignity are the actors, and at least the Academy got that right with nominations for old Mexican maid woman and the girl who played the deaf/mute since she was fantastic. I actually about half way through the movie turned to my girlfriend and said this Japanese girl is amazing what’s with all the hype about Brad Pitt? Although don’t get me wrong, Brad Pitt was great, but only served to distract me marginally from Inarritu’s quite incredible ability to squander Cate Blanchett who is probably one of the best five actresses working today.
I promise you, for all the pretentious ‘listen’ bullshit this film throws at you, it’s not a very good movie. THe message is half-assed and forced down your throat with all the subtlety of anal rape. The film is so fucking mediocre.
And then The Fountain

This film is probably the best I’ve seen in the last five years if not ever.
People who know me will know how huge a deal it is for me to say that.
It pains me to acknowledge that this movie has not won a single positive review since its inception and that to my knowledge, I believe it garnered a healthy walk out rate and chorus of boos when shown at whatever festivals.
First and absolutely foremost, this movie fucking thrives on the musical score that kicks all manner of shit out of anything you have ever heard. Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman asking you for a threesome wouldn’t sound anywhere near as sweet as this movie sounds, I’m not even kidding. Darren Aronofsky and the Kronos Quartet are the ultimate bad boy cinematic combo.

The cinematography is legendary. Quite simply there is no other movie that you have ever seen that looks like this one. My previous favourite ever film - Fight Club - had great cinematography, but The Fountain shits on it, it’s not even a contest.
Which brings me to my next point. I say this after a lot of thought: Darren Aronofsky is probably the best non-Spielberg director working today. Now Spielberg is tops because he is just so absolutely bankable. If you have a turd of a script he will either come near it with a pole or make your shit shine, but Aronofsky is just a different league. I remember for ages seeing pictures of Rachel Weisz and him walking down the street with their kid and seeing him in his gay fucking shorts, white socks and dark shoes combo and think what the fuck, you know like when you first heard Bow Wow and Ciara were going out, but now I totally get it - man’s a genius.
I’ve spent years telling everyone that Fincher is the greatest director working today but even I have to step down today.
WATCH IT.






