Denise Richards' Message
By James
Act? What's that?How does someone who has the acting skills of a plank of wood become one of the most sought after and highly paid actresses in the business? Well, because she's willing to show you tits and ass in any movie she appears in. Basically, she offers that last ray of hope to aspiring actresses, in the message that anyone can become a Hollywood star if they're sleazy enough to follow their dreams.
For all of the acting talent that's out there, score one for the talentless media whore who has tits and likes to show them, her spectrum of acting expression is so vast that she has one look to express happiness, distress, confusion and anger. Or is it that she's just that bad an actress?
WILD THINGS (1998)
Is it any wonder that her first notable movie was the one which showed her tits and a subsequent threesome between her Matt Dillon and Neve Campbell. This movie was a sucked the big one, but still, I guarantee you that it 99% of the males own it.
In fact, I've seen it myself, I own it but I sure as hell can't remember how it ends. I'd find it difficult to live with myself if I could.
VALENTINE (2001)
Okay so in this movie Denise plays a psychologist who beats all odds by teaching a deaf man how to speak fluent Swahili. If you believed that please get off my site and never come back. This movie sees Denise reprise her trademark role as - basically - a woman out to find a hot guy. Along the way her friends start getting murdered, and she gets upset. So upset in fact that in the next scene she parties the night away, rounding the scene off with her 75% naked ass in a bikini in her friend's hot tub.
Her character is then killed in the next scene and the world is a better place for it.
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (2001)
A serious insult to the world came in the form of her next role and while it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Denise was a Bond girl, neither should it surprise you that while she was playing a Russian nuclear physicist, she didn't bother to speak with a fake Russian accent, and all she wore for the duration of the movie was a very scientific shorts and a tank top combination.
UNDERCOVER BROTHER (2002)
Her latest movie that I know off brought us pretty much, more of the same, but by now, would you really expect anything else?
Denise plays 'White She Devil', who is set upon our hero - the Undercover Brother, in order to infiltrate his operations and ultimately distract. I'll let you try and figure out how with a little quiz, to see if you've been paying attention thus far:
Denise Richards attempts to distract the Undercover Brother by:
a) Playing late night games of scrabble
b) Conversing, using multi-syllable words not including the nouns of, fuck, suck, feel or stroke.
c) Being attractive, accentuating her breasts and finally have a lesbian shower/struggle with an unknown afro-american woman while the Undercover Brother watches.
The answer was ofcourse C, and thus is her prime and only function in this movie.
That's right! When we act together, you don't look at my face, you look at my breasts!
Anyway, there you go, a quick run-through of Denise Richards' cinematic life. Please, if you think she's a great actress worthy of an Oscar, leave a message in our guestbook, or if your obsession with Denise' awesome talent is that much then pimp me an email at james@suckball.com, but if not then I hope you enjoyed the article.
