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Chicken Invaders Review | By James

Computer games come in many different forms, and often, rigid genres. You have FPS', Puzzles, RPG's and so on and so forth. Personally, the only games that I've really had a taste for are quality RPG's. I've no doubt that the amount that I played on the Final Fantasy series alone has accounted for around at least a sixth of my life. If you haven't played them before then stop reading this article right now and go play FFXII. Anyway, this article chronicles and reviews the ridiculously simplistic shooter, Chicken Invaders.

Granted, in today's competitive computer game scene, consumers as a whole are looking for the mind-blowing graphics and intricate plots. If we look at CI in those aspects, it belongs more in the 1950's - you could find better visuals in a cup of piss, and the plot? What plot?

The basic idea of Chicken Invaders is that you pilot a small ship, in the attempts to kill as many winged chickens and rogue meteors as possible. These chickens apparently are able to breathe in outer space sans the use of a oxygen tank and also appear to be twice the size of your ship. That's right, we're talking some big bad poultry. As you advance through the levels, the chickens become progressively faster and harder to kill. Evidently the process of evolutionary resistance to your bullets is somewhat faster in this universe.

Every chicken that you kill explodes, and leaves a drumstick in it's place, which you can collect for additional points and the ability to use a rocket. Apparently not only is your gun made to kill the chickens, but it is also a part-disappearing ray and part cooker - it utterly vapourises every part of the hapless chicken's body except it's leg, which is perfectly deep fried. I guess this is how the pilot of your tiny ship survived the absense of food in deep space. However if this was in fact the case, the pilot would indeed have to be either extremely fucking hungry or imediately beaming the drumsticks back to KFC outlets on Earth considering that each chicken leg is approximately 3/4 the size of your ship.

Although each chicken that dies gives you a tasty drumstick, random poultry also gives a 'present', which once collected allows you to shoot an extra bullet at a time. The only explanation for this is that the chickens had been summoned to fight your ship completely last minute, thus catching those last minute holiday shoppers without a chance to leave their gifts at the safety of their homes.

You are granted three lives, and there are two ways in which you can die. The first being if a suicidal chicken kamikazes your ship, and the second being if one of their eggs hits you. Which only begs the question, how did they reproduce if their eggs were giant explosives?

Anyway, go get the game from CNET and enjoy!

 

 
     
     
 
 

* all article and graphical content is property of james & louis - 'suckball'