The Mario Conspiracy | By James
Videogames are a massive force when it comes to getting to, and influencing kids and adults alike. Nintendo is one of the single most powerful videogame console and games producers, and their signature game - Super Mario comes complete with sinister hidden messages which threaten to steal the very innocence for the child... or grossly immature adult who plays it.
Drug Power!
Nintendo sold the Super Mario to parents, based on the premise that it is the story of an Italian midget (helped by his brother) who needs to save either his girlfriend or the girl he desperately wants to rail - Princess Toadstool, from the clutches of the evil 'Bowsers'. Along his extremely long journey, he meets a number of whacky characters and does a lot of equally whacky things that test the laws of both gravity and the human growth process.
Super Mario is actually the setting up of a massive drug-happy child population ready to buy hundreds of billions of dollars worth of drugs from the underworld Nintendo drugs cartels. The shameless and absolutely obvious reference to drugs and the sparkling effects it can have on the human body are extremely well documented in all of the Super Mario games and its rather distressing to think that this was and remains to be one of the most popular childrens' videogames ever.
THE CHARACTERS
MARIO
'Super' Mario is rather obviously Nintendo's drug promoting game. The general consensus on this guy is that he is out to 'free the mushroom princess' and to 'save the mushroom people from the Bowsers'. He is the frontman in this massive drug scandal and he and his brother Luigi are the characters in the game which consume the *enhancers* mentioned below.
Mario is an Italian midget plumber on a mission.
PRINCESS TOADSTOOL
She is the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, which only goes to convince me that she is on a perpetual high. I mean, not only are the hullucination-inducing drugs 'Magic Mushrooms' free and in abundance where she rules, but she is also in love with a semi-bold Italian midget.
THE POWER-UPS
Please bare in mind that when I saw power-ups, I actually mean vividly advertised drugs. These are the items that Mario and Lugio are able to pick up along their journey to help him. Touching any of the items mentioned below give Mario different power-ups, each of which is beneficial to his success.
1-UP MUSHROOM
Collecting this, results in an extra life for Mario. Obviously, this is a clear reflection of Nintendo trying to advertise the notion that if you take drugs, it'll be like you're living a whole new life. Drugs clearly improve the quality of your life, and so much so, that you'll probably have an extra one to spare.
FIRE FLOWER
Grants Mario the ability to shoot fireballs. If Super Mario becomes small, and then takes the Fire Flower, he will become only Super Mario. Do you see the progression from shrooms to marijuana here? Obviously the strategy is to maximise potential earnings by advertising as many products from the Nintendo Drug catalogue as is possible. Simple economics.
STARMAN
This grants Mario invincibility for 18 seconds of game time. This is probably the worse drug advertisement in the game as it perpetuates that this drug will make you entirely invulnerable. This is obviously some sort of drug which removes feeling from the body, sort of like anaesthetic I guess.
THE MAGIC MUSHROOM
Collecting this item makes Mario double in size and allows him to get hit once and not die. This is obviously a direct indication to the true nature of many drugs, as things like steroids enhance physical growth, and the said increase in muscle bulk obviously makes you stronger too. However, the real beauty of this drug is the weird and wacky images you can see if you take it...
MAGIC MUSHROOMS
For those who don't know, the Magic Mushroom is a hallucination-inducing drug, for the dolts; you see things. This therefore reflects in the bizarre nature of the Mushroom Kingdom, you're playing the game through Mario's eyes, and ofcourse he sees some crazy whacked out shit - he's sky high on mushrooms!
Flying Fish?
Winged Turtles?
MARIJUANA
As aforementioned, it would be foolish to solely base this marketing campaign on Magic Mushrooms, so Nintendo opted to mass-promote marijuana too. In the Mushroom Kingdom, from time to time Mario finds massive green plants, which he can climb up.
You can see how happy Mario gets when he 'climbs' this mysterious green plant, and the reasons are relatively clear, you're free from enemies up there and you can collect coins aplenty.
This is so obviously a reference to the benefits of puffing on a nice batch of weed (symbolised by the green plant), as Nintendo is basically trying to tell you that if you do become a stoner, everyone will be your friend and you'll be rolling in cash.
Even the clouds smile at you if you're a drug addict.
Super Mario is the first game I've come over with such blatantly negative messages to kids, I find it shocking that nothing has been done to curb Nintendo's ever-expanding drug franchise and hope that some day something will be done. For now however, we'll just have to do with a gaming world which perpetuates both drug taking and racism.
* all article and graphical content is property of james & louis - 'suckball'