29th July 2004 - James: Updates

Ok, so I haven't updated in quite a while. Reason being that time is in pretty short supply right now. In fact I can probably sum up what I do in about five things:

• Film

• Sleep

• Eat

• Own Louis' ass in Winning Eleven

• Watch movies

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

If you ever think that you can make your own independent film and want to do it properly let me give you a few words of advice. Be prepared to be very, very fucking patient. Yesterday I had to waste like twenty minutes worth of film because someone couldn't kick off her slippers.

Filming's going well though actually, and after finding out that I had a dead-line of two weeks to film the whole thing in, I've pretty much decided that I can finish it in one week. It sounds insane but I'm so sure I can do it, with a combination of skill and well, fucking more skill.

Things that have gone wrong so far:

1. My main character is an obsessive compulsive. Everything in his life is neat and tidy and at perpendiculars. The appartment that I've been allowed to use to shoot in, as his home has not been rented for approximately three millenia and as a result, is in worse shape than Maradona. Apart from the moon and the Sahara Desert, it's probably the dustiest place in our universe. I've therefore been forced to do loads of shots which are *JUST* above the table-top, or *JUST* above the TV top.

2. Lighting is so gay to work out. You can shoot with a window in the back-ground, otherwise it all goes to shit, so I've had to use so many gay angles and more cardboard boxes than you can shake a stick at.

=

I just watched 'Man on Fire', Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning.

Denzel played the classic anti-hero hero, and worked I thought really fucking well with Fanning, who is pretty damn cute.

Anyways, the movie fucking rocked. It was such a sweet story, a fucking sweet cut by Tony Scott, a director whom I've got to say of all the films he's made in the past I've hated all of them, and good performances in my opinion, although the part wasn't much of a stretch for the ever rigid Denzel Washington.

It would have been much better though, if the last thing you see wasn't "Dedicated to the country of Mexico, a very special place." Yeah, so special it features the world's highest crime rate, probably some of the worst sanitation of all time and more hookers than Pretty Woman.

I'd give it an 9/10.

What else have I watched? Oh yeah, The Punisher. That movie was SO BAD it's just crying out for a review, but I really doubt that enough people have seen it. Seriously, every fucking premise was laughable. With Thomas Jane as Frank Castle and John Travolta as his character from Swordfish, The Punisher comfortable takes the helm of Worst comic book movie of all time from Batman and Robin. And that movie featured a Batman credit card.

I hope you sick fuckers enjoy yourselves :)

Well suckball doesn't mean sucking balls literally, in fact it was not even created in the english language! It was first coined up in Bahasa Melayu - hisap telur. (he-sup ter-loor)

If you don't know the Malay language, hisap telur is directly translated to "sucking eggs", hisap - suck telur - egg. The context in which you use this lovely lovely phrase is when you're asking someone to get lost, or fuck off...or something along those lines.

Example.
"Man, you're gay" Person 1 thinking he's cool
"Go hisap telur" Person 2 cussing back
"Oh." Person 1 getting owned.

There you have it, the origins of the word suckball and consequently the formation of www.suckball.com

Remember, telling someone to suckball doesn't literally ask someone to suck some balls, it's just telling someone to get the fuck lost. Imagine if someone told you to go fuck a cow, unless he was mentally retarded, he didn't mean for you to REALLY go fuck a cow...so please don't go fuck a cow? poor cows.

PLUS, it doesn't even feel that great to have your balls sucked. Lickball is wayyy nicer...
Oops. I digress.