9th July 2004 - Louis; To all our faithful readers
Take care, seriously.
Shit like this can happen to anyone, anywhere. They did not mention in
the report that he was in a middle of a crowded area (Sri Hartamas, Uncle
Dons), no. They did not mention that there was at least 30-50 people around
the area that could've easily stopped the fight, no. They did not mention
that he received no help from anyone as he got the shit beaten out of him,
no. Neither did they mention that he should've just shut the fuck up and
left the scene.
There are at least 6 billion people in this world, are you meant to care
what each and every individual says about you? (The answer is no in case
you're really stupid) Why should you care what their tiny little brain
thinks about you? I've been telling this to everyone, and this is evidence
that it is true. Pride kills.
I urge all you suckball readers to take up some form of martial art/self
defense class. If shit like this ever happens, at least you have a chance to
get away alive....or possibly whoop the person's ass then spit on him after.
(Especially girls. Also, girls who CAN whoop ass are automatically
hot....and cool. Way cool)
In any case, fighting should always be a last resort. Last resort meaning,
you're cornered and there's no way to escape this fight and your very
existence depends on you defending yourself. Fuck your pride, and run if you
can, do anything to avoid a fight. I mean, so what if you're the best
fighter in the world? Think about it, you get into your fighting stance.
You're ready to kill this motherfucker who insulted your girlfriend with
your bare hands, oh yeah, you're going to kick his ass. He pulls out a gun.
You're fucked.
Yay. Way to go, dumbass.
Hoping to end on a friendlier note.
THE WORLDWIDE OBESITY EPIDEMIC
should be changed to
AMERICA/ENGLAND NEED TO EAT LESS MCDONALDS
I too don't believe that the World Health Organization are
actually stupid enough to come out an obesity epidemic. Take a look at some
facts.
"Every
year, almost 9 million people die from hunger. That's 24,000 deaths a
day, or one life unnecessarily lost every 3.6 seconds."
"Even
when a person does not die from hunger, malnutrition still takes its toll.
According to estimates, over 800 million people in the world suffer from
malnutrition."
(Source 1
2)
If anything, there should be a Worldwide stupidity epidemic, where people
are getting stupider everyday.
I say, let the fat people die and then donate their fat bank accounts to the
starving children! Man, I should rule the world, that way. There wont be any
problems.
7th July 2004 - James: Updates
Ah sorry I've not been updating and stuff as I should be, I'm experiencing some seriously gay problems with my lap-top (the dreaded log on - immediately log off error with the userinit file, that I just can't seem to fucking fix without an XP cd) and with the only other computers in my house being really shitty and lacking frontpage which I've become so dependant on, now I'm sitting and updating with notepad and waiting for cuteftp to download, so I can keep going..
Have you guys all heard of what the World Health Organisation is getting all about now? I mean I used to have respect for these kinds of organisations and charities, but I mean seriously...
Uh what? Worldwide? Honestly? Yeah I mean you can just picture those people in the Sudan and Bangladesh sitting there thinking Jesus christ I need to lose some weight. What a waste of money... And a way to make Americans think that they aren't the only ones who are FAT.
What else... Oh, the Blade Trinity trailer which is up now just fucking rocked the show and I can't believe they got Ryan Reynolds in there that's fucking just too much.
Has anyone else been watching Two and a half Men? That's some seriously funny stuff. Charlie Sheen can't dress worth a fucking dime, and you just know that you hate the entire cast, but for some reason it turns out really funny. That and 4 HOURS STRAIGHT OF THE WORLD POKER TOUR OMG SO COOL is all that's been keeping me alive the past month.
Mmmmm other than that.. Prepare for my glorious return next Saturday!! OH YEAH.. Kissing England good bye..for like two months, but hey, anytime spent outside of it is good time my friend.
If any of you guys read a lot, you should be reading Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor.
New article on the left.
*note: I wrote two more articles, Why Armageddon Always Makes Me Cry and something else that I forgot, but they're on my lap-top, so you'll just have to wait.
5th July 2004 - Louis ; Talk about the most zombified day
Summary of my day in college : Pretty much every single guy with black rings around their eyes and the words "man, i lost so much money yesterday"
That's right ladies and gentlemen, Portugal lost 1-0 to Greece. I was too engaged in trying to sneak my girlfriend back into her house without her getting grounded for life to really care about the game, so I came home to find this statistic.
Portugal - Shots 19 - 10 On goal
Greece - Shots 2 - 1 On goal
I don't know how the game went, but in case you aren't able to understand that, Portugal had 19 shots, 10 of which were on target.
Greece had 2 shots, only one was on target and that's the one which went in.
Of course the statistic follows with the Greek goalkeeper saving 12 shots which people tell me that was why Greece won. And lame Portuguese only made two miserable saves....oh wait, there was only two shots.
whatever the case, Louis is happy. Why?
because Louis is 92 pounds richer! woot
3rd July 2004 - Louis ; Happy as a worker bee
Does that phrase exist or did I coin that up myself? Because
I highly doubt that working my entire life for the community and having
absolutely no luxuries or free time is at all satisfying. Kinda like
communism but with no sleep. I think it should be more like pissy like a
worker bee. Yeah, that's why bees sting you, they're just way pissed off all
the time, kinda like my girlfriend.
Anyway, that's not what I wanted to write about, just went off track a
little. If any of you are lucky enough to own a car in malaysia, you should
realise that the speed limits here are atrociously low....or slow. You have
a big highway with a speed limit of 80km/h(50mp/h) which NO ONE listens to
because driving at 80 is just frustrating and slow....or just maybe I drive
too fast.
Thus, I decided to give all of you a guide on what my definition of the
speed limits in Malaysia really stands for. How fast you should be going and
how slow you shouldn't be going. This applies for all the speed limits which
are 60km/h(38mp/h) and above.
If you're driving below the speed limit
You no longer are in the category of "driving", more like "dying" or
"dead" because you're moving slower than a tranquilized snail. Unless you're
stuck in a traffic jam or your car is not able to move faster than
snail-pace, foot on the pedal, you need to accelerate.
If you're driving on the speed limit
You're doing fine....if you want to get to your destination an hour
late. You should be on the slow lane, no exceptions, even if you're way hot
and naked. Don't for a second think you're driving fast enough to be on the
fast lane, i vehemently hate people like you, stick to the slow lane tool.
If you're driving twice the speed limit
You're still safe as long as you don't take up two lanes or slowly
drift unknowingly to the next lane. Be very careful of the people who cut
into the fast lane because they think they're uber leet and deserve to be
there. Apart from that, you're completely fine, the speed limits in malaysia
are ridiculous so driving twice the speed limit isn't anything to be proud
of.
If you're driving three times the speed limit
So you think you're Michael Shumacher? Unless you're entirely
confident of your driving and there aren't many cars on the road, should you
proceed to drive at such a speed. It's rare for a car to be able to drive
three times the speed limit unless it's a small road and the speed limit is
low (e.g 60km/h and you're driving at 180km/h) So if you have half a brain,
you should realise the speed limit is low because there are many turns and
curbs all over the place and driving fast would result in most definite
death. Again, be careful of them idiots who drive on the fast lane at
snail-pace. Flashing or honking them wont work because they're either
oblivious to the fact that they're not the only person on the road or
they're too focused at driving at such a pace....at 20km/h.
So that should be enough information for high-speed-driving in malaysia.
Don't worry much about the police, if they ever catch you speeding, they
will just happily warn you that you were driving _ _ km/h above the speed
limit and expect a token of appreciation for informing you...usually 20
ringgit or so will do (5 US dollars)
Of course you could think that i'm just clinically insane for thinking that
driving three times the speed limit is fine as long as i'm "careful", or you
could be cool like me and put your life at risk every time you leave your
house.