2nd May 2004- Louis; Frank Sinatra does not define jazz

"What kind of music do you listen to?"
"Oh all kinds really. I like everything"

Whenever I hear such line, I automatically assume the person has an intellect comparable to a masturbating chimpanzee and everything he/she says after becomes a psychobabble of  -imstupidimstupidimstupidreallyimstupid

Of course, not to be rude. I'll continue the conversation with...
"Oh? So you listen to jazz then?"
"Yeap"
"What kind of jazz?"
"Oh you know. Frank Sinatra...Nora Jones. Yeah I really love Jazz"

That statement alone is proof that evolution can go in reverse. Once in a while, you get some smart asses who might throw in a few names like Diana Krall...maybe even Robbie Williams.

I'm sure many of you people have done it, 99% of the people I know do this. Diana Krall, Nora Jones, not even the legendary Frank Sinatra even begins to make a fair representation of what jazz really is. Off the top of my head, I know at least 6-10 different types of jazz, how many do you know?

Just an advice to you people so you don't sound like an utter idiot if you actually give responses like those. Consider the following replies you could give.

"Well, I like swing...maybe some ballad jazz...and..."

or you could be honest with yourself (heaven forbid!) and say

"no...I subject myself to the popular culture. I only listen to popular music"
(Which by the way, Frank Sinatra and Nora Jones are categorized under)
....fucking imbeciles...

Enough of that.
It's my last week in England, my last weekend at Jacob's place. Flight leaves on Friday 12pm, and I wont be coming back here for at least a couple of years.
Bye everyone

2nd May 2004 - Disgrace (Leeds are relegated from the Premier League)

It's been a long time since I've been this depressed. I saw people three times my size with shaved heads, gold-tipped teeth and hundreds of tattoos cry today. I've yet to talk to my girlfriend about it. If she tells me don't worry about it, it's just a game, I'll implode and probably kill someone.

And I've never wanted to fuckin' bitch slap anyone this much. 

<--- I fucking hate you. DIE MARK VIDUKA DIE GOD DAMN IT ARGHHHHH YOU FUCKING MORON

Until today, I thought I knew pretty much just how stupid people could really be. Then I saw Leeds play Bolton, and, well, you learn a new thing every day.






Mark Viduka. What a fuckin spanner, I can't believe how gay you are, it's not that you just don't give a fuck about Leeds, it's that you knowingly do unexplainably retarded things that cost them games. Now because of you, we're going to Division one and have a one way ticket to financial oblivion. Oh but don't worry, you'll get a transfer to gay Man United. Fuck you. I honestly would not be surprised if some hardcore Leeds fan beat the living shit from you, you would deserve it.
Gay.

2nd May 2004 - James: Stuff

I was talking to Louis the other night and I realised, that for some reason, not everyone on the face of the Earth has seen Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. Why? It's the greatest movie ever made. Come on people. It's almost unfair to other romantic movies how good this is.

 

I get paid on the first of the month, so naturally I went out and spent a shit load of money needlessly yesterday:

MUSIC CDS:

  • Muse - Absolution (Awesome)

  • Muse - The Origin of Symetry (Not as good)

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Soundtrack (Awesome)

  • Kill Bill volume 1 Soundtrack (Awesome)

  • The Best of James Brown (Depends on the mood)

  • Massive Attack - Greatest Hits (Weak)

DVDS:

  • Adaptation (Awesome, how did Nicolas Cage not win best actor Oscar wtf)

  • Boogie Nights (Awesome - "IT'S MY BIG COCK, I SAY WHEN WE ROLL JACK")

  • Bruce Campbell vs. Army of Darkness, Official Bootleg Edition

  • The Insider (Good, but way, way too fucking long)

I was wondering, are people not aware of the almighty awesome, so bad it's amazing Army of Darkness movies? They're basically about this guy called Ash who is the only action hero ever to be able to run for pretty much 90% of the movie, screaming like a girl and still come out looking like a hard-ass. He's chock full of one-liners, a massive chin and oh yeah, he has a chain-saw for a hand.

Some of Ash's pearls:

Ash: [to the Witch] Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!

Ash: Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
Possessed woman: Who the hell are you?
Ash: Name's Ash.
[cocks shotgun]
Ash: Housewares.

Ash: You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack just left town.

Anyway. Oh yeah, I realised yesterday who has the best name in the entertainment industry, like seriously. Joey Fatone. The N`Sync guy, it's the perfect name. For him anyway - Joey FatOne. Yeah.

Speaking of names, when I went to buy my CDs yesterday, I went for a quick game of tekken, and re-united with this guy who Louis and I used to play with years ago, and I remembered the name that he gave me when he gave me his number all those years ago - Submarine.

Who in their right minds would consciously call themselves 'Submarine'?