|
21st May 2004 - James: Music Ok, so I'm at work, and I'm bored out of my fucking head. You cannot ever truly fathom how boring it is to work in a comic shop until you've done it. You get customers who break down into tears when they don't get the card they want, cum when they do, and when there's no one there, the only thing to amuse you is a shit load of comics. And there's only so much Batman you can read before even that becomes boring. Anyway, so I was sitting at the 'games table' we have, reading Entertainment Weekly, and listening to music on media player on the computer across the room. While I had Third Eye Blind's infinitely bad-ass album playing (I can honestly say that Out of the Vein is one of the greatest albums ever made. How do I know this? Well EVERY TIME I get into Louis' car it's on, whenever I'm at work, it's on, and it's still wicked), anyway, the album finished, and so the computer just bumped it onto the next CD. Something you need to know: I work with a woman, and as we'll see, she has a lot of awful music. So I sat, reading, listening to the musical puke that is: The Poppy Family - A Good Thing Lost: The title of this album implies that a good thing was lost. This album was shit, so I assume that that good thing, was probably talent, or a singing ability, or even a fully functioning frontal lobe. Mariah Carrey - Glitter: I actually wasn't aware, apparently Mariah Carrey is a singer too?? I hate it when artists try and cross over, she should stick to what she does best - acting, and serve up another smash hit like "Glitter". Seriously though, you know in the movie "Deep Impact", where there's this big meteor flying through space, about to hit Earth in like a day and everyone is screaming? Well this album, is like that, only, instead of a big meteor, it's a pile of suck, and instead of space, it's a pile of suck, and instead of Earth, it's a pile of suck, and instead of in a day, it's everyday and all that exists is suck, and instead of everyone screaming, it's just Mariah, wailing in that tone that only dogs and Werewolves can hear. Hilary Duff - Metamorphosis: Every day, when I get home from work, my cousin is sat in front of the TV, watching the Disney Channel. I usually need to eat, and while I much prefer to eat alone in my room, this provides me with the perfect excuse to sit with him and marvel in the goddess that is Hilary Duff, and her program, Lizzie Maguire: Journey to Hotness. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for her music, which is tripe. Love Actually - The Soundtrack: Am I the only person who thought Love Actually absolutely fucking blew? So does the soundtrack, which is chock full of teeny-bopper atomic kitten-esque garbage, the only exception being the l33t Wyclef John track (Take Me As I Am), where he shouts out to his "Vanilla ice-cream, chocolate pudding pie, that stayed with him through the hood do or die." Christopher Cross - The Very Best of Christopher Cross: A lot of you out there I'm sure, are thinking, who is Christopher Cross? Well, if this is you, then my friend, I envy your obliviousness. From what I can gather from his songs, Chris Cross (LOL) is the anti-christ of the music world. He really, really sucks, and so of course, the very best of his shit, is like taking a dump on the floor and then scooping off the part that didn't touch the floor. Let me break it down to you in a simple equation: Coldplay's Worst Ever Song - Lyrics - Guitar - Drums + Ludacris + Britney Spears + Mariah Carrey = The Very Best of Christopher Cross 20th May 2004 - Louis; is no longer Godslayer From hence forth, I shall be known as Louis the mosquitoslayer. In the past two hours or so, i've murdered at least 10 innocent mosquitos..... with my bare hands. Not only did I murder them, I desecrated their bodies....to show their mosquito brothers not to mess with me. You can almost hear their relatives cry when they fly past the bloody mosquito graveyard. Their once beautiful wings torn, their bodies crushed by the power of mine clapping hands and worst of all, Their proboscis* ripped off their head. *GASP!* It is TODAY. I shall be known infamously as Louis the vile mosquitoslayer. Loved by men, feared by mossies and of course, adored by the hot ladies. If you ever need my services, give me shout at 1800-mosquito-death. No mosquitos are safe. *proboscis is what mosquitos use to suck blood. I imagine, to a mosquito losing its proboscis is like a man losing his penis. 19th May 2004 - Louis; ill chicken Bah. I've got a fever, a blocked nose, a sore throat and my head hurts. I've said it before and i'm going to say it again. The heat in malaysia at the moment is INSANE. I'm convinced it's the heat that made me ill.... God damned sun. Anyways. I've been getting a lot of random messages from random people and i've been checking on the sites that links suckball. I noticed something that many of these people/sites have in common which I need to clarify, in a not so friendly manner. Many of you people think that James and I are gay. Granted, the site is pink, we do shit
together all the time (not literally you moron). But conversations like
these have happened far too many times for me to let it slide. |