29th May 2004 - Louis ; Some pictures

Time stamp - 11.18

Time stamp - 11.28 (Half bottle gone. Ten minutes)

Time stamp - 1.25am

More pictures later.

Happy Burfday James

Of course the world doesn't revolve around James and shit happens to people everywhere, anywhere. And I have to say that I've had the most....I honestly don't know what word will describe what i've been going through for the past two days, fucking-incredibly-bizarre might skim it a little.

Yesterday,
1) I woke up at 9.28am. Class is at 9.30 and half an hour away.
I made it in 10 minutes through traffic, which I believe deserves a full page in the Guinness Book of Records.....of course I came close to dying like 5 times, but that's besides the point.

2) Sitting in class. Something goes up my nose and I start sneezing. On my third and final sneeze, I heard my neck "CLICK". I wish I could put into words the amount of pain I felt in that single instant. The only thing that could possibly give it justice is, imagine someone picking you up horizontally. Got the mental image yet? Got it? You're facing upwards, like lying down. Got it? Ok. Now that same someone who picked you up, slams your back onto his knee folding you lifeless body into half.....Felt sorta like that.

3) I drive home from college to see two dogs fucking in the middle of a busy intersection.....and a third trying to join in. Not even an asshole would dare purposely drive through the dogs so there was quite a traffic jam around the area with cars honking, though i'm not sure whether they were honking to cheer them on or to get them out of the way. Of course you have a horde of spectators watching the dogs screwing on the street, with a packet of crisps because dog orgys are interesting.

Summary : Dog threesome in the middle of the road holding up traffic, cars honking and people watching.

4) I come home and I take 5 minutes to get into bed (my twisted neck remember?), a minute to change my pillow and a minute just to turn over to my side. As you all might have heard, there was a massive thunderstorm yesterday. I was woken by a loud crack from the lightning, only to see an ELECTRIC BOLT spark from my faulty socket (which I taped over), fly across the room and connected to my metal computer casing which blew the fuse to my house. I don't think anything could've frightened me any more than that did....I probably looked as if I saw a ghost but paler. I quickly pulled myself up (OMG THE PAIN) to quickly disconnect the plugs which didn't help rest my neck at all.
Damage : My desktop blew, my adsl modem blew. I haven't checked on my Ps2 because a) it's not mine, it's james' b) i'm scared

5) I picked Kitty up at about 1am and stopped at a red light. Two seconds later, I hear a car screeching through the intersection, SMACK into the barrier and then pinballed into the curb on the opposite end of the road. The car landed back into the lane.....and drove off as if nothing happened. Man, it was like being in a movie, but just 5 times cooler.

I thought that maybe the curse of thursday would end on thursday. um, how about no.

6) Not two minutes after I drive out of my house, a cab driver almost collides into my side when he obviously forgot to check right before he turned. (I saw my side view mirror, you're talking about an INCH distance between his car and mine).

I gotta get ready for James' birthday. Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday James
James james he's so cool
It's no surprise he's nobody's fool
No one in the world can step to james
He's cooler than Justin and beefier than Ving Rhames
He's better than Einstein at making decisions
And sometimes when he's sleeping, his penis causes mid-air collisions
James james he's our man, if he can't do it no-one can
If he was in Japan he'd be called Jamesiro-san
James is so hot he has to beat away females with a stick
He says "sorry angelina, and you britney" shit, even J.lo can't get a lick
Because he's just too cool, if you touched him you'd probably freeze
And your nuts would shrivel up like refrigerated peas.

By James. 2004.

May 21