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3rd September 2004 - James: 2004's MTV Video Music Awards Ok, I don't watch much TV, so I don't experience MTV in the ugodly amounts that most people do, but seriously, where the hell was I when MTV got taken over by black people? I mean, I've really got nothing against black people, I'm not a racist (I'm sexist - I never buy anything from a woman - they never give you as good a price as a man, I'm sorry), but I'd just like to know. When did BET buy over MTV? Honestly, I was watching it on and off, between Mase's making the video (HE'S BACK, WHO KNEW??) and pretty much the only people I saw was Usher, P. Diddy, Ludacris, Will Smith and Kanye West. The only white guy I saw was Bruce Willis, and that's only because he was standing with P. Diddy. And how many black people won awards? I mean yeah it was obvious Jet would win best rock video, Maroon 5 would win SOMETHING and The Darkness would win worst dressed EVER, but other than that, wasn't it just dominated by actually, fuck that, dominated by one person: Usher. Whom I used to like, but how fucking conceited is he? Talking bad about my boy Justin Timberlake, that just won't do at all. Was it me or were all the performances really, really, really, really shit? There was one performance which was by literally twenty random black guys + Fat Joe, throughout the whole of which I couldn't even pick up any discernible trace of a TUNE whatsoever. Nevermind understand the lyrics. And what the fuck was up with that skate-boarding shit? Or P. Diddy's miami dancers shit? And I used to think Mase was so cool. I'm not sure why, but apparently, the MTV producers dipped straight into the bowels of hell and plucked Paris Hilton out to be the awards' host, who had the magnetism of a fucking sponge. GOOD JOB. As per usual, Lil' Jon didn't say a single fucking word in understandable English other than WHAT?, YEAH or OKAY!!!. Alicia Keys was hot for about five minutes while she took her moon-man. Then she went back stage fucked up her hair, took off her bra, gained about ten pounds and then came out in a shitty looking top to tribute to Ray Charles. Another black legend. Then the Beastie Boys came out. Now, they're like 40 something year old white guys who rap, so they're like as black as Shaquille O'Neal. We get a quick glance at my current crush Hillary Duff, and she's sitting all alone. And I swear she mouthed 'J - A - M - E - S'. Did you guys see it too? I FUCKING HATE FRANZ FERDINAND. And seriously does ANYONE care about who wins the MTV 2 award? One of the funniest things I have ever seen is when people like Yellow Card or Blink 182 win an award, and then for some god knows what reason, the camera man who obviously has no fucking clue what to do whatsoever or than follow his motor reflex which is CUT TO A BLACK GUY, switches to like Busta Rhymes' face, and he's got that look like, "YEAH YELLOW CARD!! FUCKING YEAH BOIII!! HOLLA BACK NIGGAAA!!!.....WHAT? Ah shit they're white. Fuck that." Which is the part where he looks at his feet and claps like three times. Priceless. Mandy Moore's hot too. I used to have so much respect for Andy Roddick, but sorry, he's a dumb ass. Is this the first ever VMAs since like the beginning of time that Britney Spears didn't win anything/perform? Ok and who were those people with the robes and shit? WTF was that about? We also get to hear Outkast's Hey Ya for roughly the 654542123 bazillionth time so far this year. I heard Mase's song too. And that my friends is going to absolutely tank. It's so obvious. And let me tell you why:
Christian boy Mase won't do shit with his album, because he's decided not to follow the formula and rap about fly bitches, rides and getting benjamins (to use on bitches). I'm sorry but it just ain't gonna work. David Chapelle's funny. Beyonce looks like shit. Jojo is young. OMG funniest part of the VMAs - Jojo comes out and says "I JUST SAW USHER, HOW HOT IS HE?????" Cut to Usher like "Oh shit she's too fucking young. Too damn young. I can't show any interest whatsoever" Oh shit I think I just fell in love with Karly Patterson. My favourite album of the year?.... Third Eye Blind - Out of the Vein. Gotta be. Go out and buy it. No love from MTV but fucked if they know anything about good music. Download The Thrills - Whatever Happened to Corey Haim? Oh and Outkast won video of the year for Hey Ya. Who'd have guessed. Hopefully that means we can move on now. Since History is pretty much defined as BHY and AHY. Before Hey Ya and After Hey Ya. Fuck I can't even remember a time before Hey Ya. =============================== I left Malaysia yesterday. It's a pretty shitty feeling. Thanks to Louis and Joyce for coming to the airport with me. The ride was awesome, speeding like 200 down the high-way, while learning to sing Third Eye Blind's song "Faster", but only saying the words that begin with the letter W. THAT SHIT IS NOT EASY. Got it down in like ten minutes though. Proudest achievement of my life. Destroyed my vocal chords belting out my two favourite songs I WANT YOU and SEMI CHARMED LIFE. Deena I'll see you in a couple of weeks, I love you :) Sorry I didn't mail today, jet-lag is pwning me. Louis thanks for everything man, you've been more than a best friend since I met you in math class. Ever since we used to duck out of people's parties to go to the arcade to play street-fighter. Sorry Becky :) Anyways, send me over New Police Story when the DVD comes out. Keep partying hard, and EDIT + POST OUR NEW VIDEO. And I'll see you soon too. I'll be back. DITTO. Too good lol. Timestone, be cool :) Take it easy Malaysia. PS. We filmed the new video, Detective J & L and let me say that it's so fucking awesome, the best stuff we've ever done. I known that's not saying much, but...hey whatever.
==> email: James@suckball.com ==> MSN: iambatmanyoufool@hotmail.com Keep in touch. And suckball isn't going to die just because I've gone. Because I thought I told you that we won't stop, I thought I told you that we won't stop. I thought I told you that... Yeah.
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