suckball

James has already written an article about the weather man and  since I just finished it not two seconds ago, I thought i’d give my two cents.

This has been one of the best movies i’ve seen in a long while. I’m thinking of a list and the titles Sin City, City of God and Lilo and Stitch (oh yeah). I’m sure i’m forgetting quite a few, but it’s hard when they release thousands of shitpile movies a year.

The feeling of this movie is very similar to Lord of War, painful comedy on the harsh realities of life. Wife left him, he doesn’t get what he wants but lives on, such is life that it doesn’t turn out perfect. The acting was brilliant, the dialogue was brilliant (apart from the way they use the word fuck. It just sounds constipated) and artistic filming with easter eggs
that make you laugh when you figure out the irony.

However, I don’t like how movies are turning out these days. Back when I always used to critisize movies where the hero gets away scratch free, gets his wife back and saves the world, i’d always say “i’d like to see a movie where the good guy dies!”. I’d like to take that back now please.

Too many movies are coming out with what I call “harsh reality endings”, where the movie ends where nothing turns out perfectly, no happy fairy tale ending, an ending that goes “and life goes on” instead of the usual “and they lived happily ever after” ….and I just don’t like it.

I’d like movies to stay fictional and tell me everything always turns out perfectly just so I can feel GOOD after the movie is over, not sad and more cynical than I already am. Movies such as Sin City, Lord of War, Syriana, Weatherman all end in the aforementioned tone and I can predict a whole lot more movies coming out that way too.

And you people ask me when i’m ever positive. Poo.

Note: I always write cool notes. Such as - How sad can you be to tattoo a Disney Character onto your arm?

ALRIGHT. I JUST FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING AVAILABLE TO MANKIND. YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO. I’M NOT KIDDING. YOU KNOW I’M NOT KIDDING WHEN I BOLD, UNDERLINE AND ITALICIZE
On a bright sunny Saturday afternoon like this, what am I doing indoors?
Oh well, such is life.

Back to the topic at hand, the bras that they’re inventing today are nothing but evil. The special breasts accentuating technology with padding type bras do nothing but deceit us helpless men in thinking that the woman has beautiful shapely breasts.

Then, poor men spend thousands of dollars pursuing that very woman with shapely breasts, unknowing about the lies and deceit he’s going through. 10 thousand dollars and several dates later (unless she was a skanky ho, in that case, 5 drinks) the bra comes off and to the man’s surprise….nothing was there to fill those cupped hands. Nothing but two little mounds with dark coloured sticking-out-pennies.

So I implore you women to boycott these evil breasts enhancing bras, and you men to boycott women who WEAR breasts enhancing bras for you are being lied to. It is my dream that breastless women be purged from this pure sinless world, down to the depths of hell where they deserve to be….and without these lying bras, there’s no where to hide.

*Note, check out this fucking awesome website I stumbled on when doing research for this article. And if you can’t understand what’s funny about it, they’re not female.