About two months ago I bought the new Argentina jersey with Messi on the back. I wore it a couple of days later and some guy I was playing futsal with said ‘who’s Messi?’ Well I’m pretty sure everyone who has even a latent interest in football knows who he is now.

CHELSEA - 1  BARCELONA - 2 

It was probably about two minutes into the game that Asier Del Horno realised it was kill or be killed. And despite getting away absolutely scot free with almost breaking Lio Messi’s leg off at the knee, twenty minutes later he went straight for the torso like Adam Sandler in The Waterboy. He was sent off, and thus ended the game as a contest, and allowed the attacking trio from hell to feast on Chelsea’s patched up backline.

Nobody ever listens to me when I say that Wayne Rooney isn’t the best young player in the world. Maybe now you will, considering Lio Messi is the best player on the best team in Europe and is 18. Hmmm.

I’m glad Chelsea got beat on their own ground. The only way it could have been any better is if John Terry hadn’t been playing like he was on steroids, or if Didier Drogba would have gotten bitch slapped by Carlos Puyol.

REAL MADRID - 0  ARSENAL - 1

Another game, another amazing young player that is younger and just as good if not better than Wayne Rooney. Ultimately the game was about the genius that is Cesc Fabregas. Sure it was Henry that danced around 63 Real Madrid players before tucking it past Iker Casillas, but Fabregas was winning the ball all night long.

Since I support Valencia I watch a lot of the Spanish League, but you dont need to do that to know what Zidane is. I say ‘what’ and not ‘who’ because to say that would imply he was merely human. The fact that Arsenal dedicated two players to stop him from unleashing hell was the only reason they were able to not concede. That and the fact that evidently Ronaldo cares about Real Madrid’s fortunes as much as he does choking on his own faeces.

I’d write about Liverpool but you guys know you suck. And before you laugh at that Man United fans, you fuckers didnt even play.