In case you’re wondering, the misguided people on the left are dressed up as characters from a popular anime series called “Naruto”, and the second image showcases middle aged men who will never get laid.

Anime has gotten far beyond popular in the past few years so I decided to bestow the secret of anime to suckball readers, just so you can make fun of people when they ask you “Hey, do you watch anime?”, to which you should reply with much sarcasm and attempt to embarrass them.

So here are the rules that all anime follow, regardless of whether it has to do with car driving, bread making or ninjas.

1) For some reason, japanese artists unanimously decided that shiny oversized breasts will attract an audience

2) They also decided that swords are way cooler than guns.

3) Finally, they decided that capes are a necessary accessory.

4) During a battle, make sure there’s more monologuing than the viewer can possibly handle. This happens when the bad guy kicks the good guy’s ass and is explaining to him the secrets of his moves.

5) This follows with the good guy reminiscing why he’s actually fighting the bad guy which triggers some deep buried power within him/her and defeats the bad guy, regardless of how many limbs he already lost.

6) Funky hair. Nuff said.

b) The main character usually has hair colour that stands out.

7) The main character needs a horribly disturbing past, something along the lines of parents getting murdered, bullied as a child, michael jackson or accidentally killing their sibling. This means the character starts off being jaded and cold, then gets “awakened” by someone.

Main character has to fight some horribly evil person who had a relatively similar path. Just so he can relate and be merciful.

9) During a fight, the final skill will never be pulled out first. It has to progress slowly, just so monologuing can be added every time.

10) The first person who pulls out the final skill always loses.

11) Hero will always get his/her ass kicked by their mentors no matter how fucking powerful they become.

12) If you thought the monologing was bad, the flashbacks will make you want to gnaw your arm off.

13) im-looking-at-you-from-the-corner-of-my-eye-with-fringe-in-my-face looks are cool.

14) There is always the one guy who is quiet and you know he’s badass because they give him way too many “im

looking at you from the corner of my eye with fringe in my face look“.

15) The girls are always useless.

b) At some point the girl will hate herself for being so useless and train her ass off so she can become independant

c) She is still useless. Hopefully the big breasts will distract you from remembering that fact.

d) If the boobs don’t work, they’ll make her save the main character’s ass with her (usual) healing/shielding skills to maker her seem useful.

e) But god damn she’s still useless.

So there you have it. 15 important steps to making a good anime series.

Don’t get me wrong, I criticise anime but i’m currently addicted to Bleach and used to watch Naruto….but i mean, check out the pictures! THAT FAT GUY IS FUCKING HILARIOUS!

also, they’re not always ugly….just 99% of the time, though I’m convinced that t h e s e girls were paid to give them nerds fantasies.

Oh and the award for funniest costume is this guy who was meant to look like this…though this guy cracked me up too.