Since I didn’t get offered to write one of these for the site that I am a paid employee of, and because Suckball basically got started because I can’t keep my opinions to myself, here is my arbitrary Favorite Seven Movies of 2007. Something to note: I’m paid to give my opinions on films; I saw BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. And they’re wonderful, but I liked others more. Deal with that shit, you fucking fascist.

#7. KNOCKED UP & SUPERBAD

KNOCKED UP is marginally the better movie, but SUPERBAD was marginally the funnier film. Both marked this being the undeniable year of Judd Apatow who struck gold with some incredible humour. His films are so good that they can make people who look like Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill jump to the top of the A-list.

#6. TRANSFORMERS

There was absolutely no way I was going to dislike this movie. The plot is paper thin with holes you could shove Rosie O’Donnell through and I don’t think Megan Fox is anywhere near as hot as people are making out, and there are even behind the scenes things which massively pissed me off (no Megatron can’t turn into a gun - it wouldn’t make sense for him to be huge then tiny. So we’ll make the Allspark huge… and then tiny). But everything Michael Bay put on the screen was so sharp it gave my eyes boners. Shia Labeouf is great, but Hugo Weaving stole it for me when he shouted Priiiiiiime! Even though Megatron looked like he transformed into a plate of silverware.

#5. MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS

Admittedly, this film is at times absolutely terrible, and at many others mediocre. But like VANILLA SKY some ten years earlier, because this film made me fall in love with Norah Jones, I absolutely adored this film. The cinematography is fucking brilliant and fucking typical of Wong Kar Wai. It even made me like Cat Power.

#4. ZODIAC

The Finch is my favourite film maker not named Aronofsky. I’ve spent entire evenings defending ALIEN 3. So I guess I was predisposed to like this film. The cast is incredible and some of the cinematic innovations are wonderful (I’m looking at you panning shot over the Bridge). It’s a little long, and since I’m a stickler for concrete resolution I can’t make this number one, but don’t listen to anyone who says this movie is no good.

#3. PLANET TERROR

My only regret is that DEATH PROOF was attached to this thing because Tarantino’s leg is piss poor. Let me tell you, the trailer had looked awful to me and I only decided to watch that thing because Mary Elizabeth Winstead was in it, but I couldn’t even sit through it long enough to get to her part. And I sat through fucking SKY HIGH just to catch a glimpse of her. PLANET TERROR is absolutely hilarious from start to beginning. And I’m no fan of Robert Rodriguez. But homeboy can even make Fergielicious not look like an ass with arms and legs. And that might not be worth an Oscar come ceremony time, but I’d give that mother fucker a Nobel Prize.

#2. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT

This was far and away my favourite until a couple of weeks ago. I absolutely despise horror movies but this film was fucking dead on. I also hate Josh Hartnett like I hate anal rape or The Spice Girls, but I can’t deny this thing. Brand new take on Zombies, which basically amounts to business executives with blood beards, but they’re scary as shit. Only problem with the film is when the corrupt cop from BATMAN BEGINS rams his tractor thing into the building for no apparent reason.

#1. GONE BABY GONE

People either like Matt Damon or they like Ben Affleck. I’m with the latter, and I was since GOOD WILL HUNTING. But as much as I like stupid, repugnant shit like REINDEER GAMES and GIGLI, there’s absolutely no doubt directing is Affleck’s true calling. His debut is ridiculously assured and his broseph Casey is fantastic in the lead. Michelle Monaghan looks a little short of her usual erection-inducing self, but Amy Ryan gives the performance of the fucking year as Helene Mcready.