I did it once before, so I thought…why not?

Several years ago, there was a road block and I was slightly intoxicated. In the 5 seconds of seeing the traffic build up at the barricades and not thinking, I promptly drove of the opposite side of the road and quickly tried to find a different route out of the city.

This time round, there was a fork in the road and I turned right to be greeted by the flashing lights and barricades. So I looked left and saw the coast was clear, all I had to do was make a U-turn against traffic for 10 or so meters and i’ll be back onto my lane.

This time round, there was a cop car waiting for imbeciles like meself.

Immediately after my felony was commited, I see the car and kept wishing for it to stay still. I see that it starts moving and I put my foot down on the pedal for an instant and remembered that World’s Wildest Police Videos never end well for the felon. So I pull over before the sirens even come on.

I immediately step out of the car and apologize for my moronic behavior and hand him my identification. He quickly lists the laws that I have broken, not bringing an Identification Card, and driving on the opposite side of the road. He starts listing the possible costs of the price of my felonys and said that I could be charged up to $600.
Note: The entire time i’m horrified at what the consequences are for attempting to escape a road block. When he mentioned that I “drove on the opposite side of the road” as opposed to the earlier, it’s like having a diamond the size of your fist fall into your lap.

Immediately after I realised that they just want a bribe, I gained control….I had the upperhand and I perform much better knowing that they want something from me instead.

He then asks whether i’ve been drinking, to which I deny profusely. He wants to get an alcohol test but I stand my ground with confidence and so he gives up on the possibility of a DUI. He asks me what I want him to do for me, I ask him what HE wants me to do for him. This while his partner is probing around my car for drugs to which I laugh at and gain even more confidence. Finally I get tired of the chase and I offer everything I have in my wallet and told them it wont even add up to a measly $50, and in the end I go…

“Sigh, saya tak ada banyak duit sekarang la boss. Just give me the saman”
(I don’t have much money)

He goes over to his partner and discuss, hoping to make me nervous….but by then I was basking in absolute confidence, put my hands at the wheel and smiled while they “discussed”. He came to my window and gave me just this chance, to which i’m thinking when am I ever going to see you again you mook, and waved me off.

Morale of the story: Confidence is feared, control is everything and the obvious - Louis is awesome.