Someone I used to know last year reminded me that whenever I got drunk I used to tear people apart with drunken freestyles about Walker Texas Ranger and Homosexual porn, I dont know if subliminally, but I’ve developed a very deep appreciation for Rap music. Not the shit you get nowadays or the Kanye West rent-a-sample stuff, but back when it was good and had substance.

Subsequently Mos Def is now one of my favourite people of all time. He’s no Joe Stalin but he’s cool all the same. Suddenly I start paying attention more to that channel that’s 343 on Sky, I think it’s MTV Base. Whatever, sometimes they play some good music, but also, Rihanna is SUDDENLY SMOKING HOT.

The perfect girlfriend if you’re DEAF

I wanted to do a positive/negative tally thing, but I realised that even though she is stupidly attractive now and rocks a push up bra like Janet Jackson rocks Triple Chocolate Muffins, there is no positive that could possibly outweigh the shame of being responsible for that Pon De Replay song. I hate that song. Was she always hot? I don’t remember. Not that I would know, I imagine that whenever the Pon De Replay video was on my ability to see was severely impaired by the death rays that song was emitting.

I have trouble typing it out. I think from now on I’ll refer to that song just as ‘The Unfortunate Incident’. I refuse to give it any more publicity, since I remember like two years ago or something it was on the radio repeatedly despite being to music what Kevin Federline is to manual labour.

She has kind of a big forehead now that I look some more of her pictures. She hides it underneath a sweet fringe for most of the new video. Either that or you don’t notice it because your eyes immediately go to her breasts. She could have been dancing around in a pair of decapitated baby heads for all I know. But I figure that must be good, the big forehead thing is supposed to mean you’re smart right? She must be a fucking genius looking at that thing. You could land the entire fleet of British Red Arrows on that bad boy.

Whatever. I’m going to let you all into the private world of James’ Musical Playlist.

1. A Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It?
2. Pharcyde - Drop
3. The Roots - Why?
4. Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Phaoroh Monch - Oh No (Good for Mos Def’s verse only)
5. Jay-Z & Eminem - Renegade
6. Rihanna - SOS (The video is worth the song I promise)
7. Pharcyde - Runnin’
8. R.E.M. feat. Q-Tip - The Outsiders
9. … And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead - How Near, How Far? (I can’t have entire playlist of rap I’ll kill myself)
10. The Lost Boyz - Love, Peace and Nappiness

I was gonna upload both Louis’ and my responses to an interview we had recently for one of our readers (Im too lazy to link, the url is http://www.xanga.com/elaine_cyl) but I figure if I post it then I’m gonna rob Louis of one of the things he can use an excuse to update.

So I’ll leave it at that. I don’t know how to upload anything other than images so my intoxicated freestyle audio clip will have to wait.