#5 - Office Space"Peter Gibbons just can't seem to catch a break. His girlfriend is cheating on him, he has an obnoxious neighbor, and he's completely miserable with his job as a small cog in a company called Initech. Then he visits a hypnotherapist, who dies just after putting Peter into a state of complete bliss. Free of worrying about making a living, he no longer feels the need to keep his job, just as the company is going through a massive downsizing. However, his new attitude only makes him more valuable in the company's eyes, and his friends Michael and Samir are fired instead. Together, they scheme to plant a virus inside Initech's computer system that will pull money into their own account."
Hands down, the funniest film I have ever seen. Except for maybe #1 on the list. Ron Livingston stars as Gibbons and while not very much happens in teh story, it's got like the funniest fucking dialogue ever. Priceless lines:
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
Peter Gibbons: Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir: Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Peter Gibbons: Samir, this is America.
#4 - SnatchTurkish, an unlicenced boxing promoter is pulled into trouble when he becomes involved in big time criminal Brick Top, who wants him to arrange a fight and fix it. Meanwhile, a diamond theft goes down but the 84 karat stone goes missing. This leads Avi, the boss who was supposed to receive the stone, to come to England to search for it, with the help of his cousin, Doug The Head and Bullet Tooth Tony. As events twist and turn, the two situations blend into one with a chain reaction of events carrying on for each and every character.
I think of the films on the list, most people have seen this one. It's a great film, fantastic dialogue, Brad Pitt and dags. Everyone I know who is male loves it and everyone I know who is female doesn't, but hey, what're you gonna do.
[Sol is holding 2 pistols]
Vinny: What do you mean, Replicas?
Sol: They look the shit, don't they? And no one is going to argue. I've got some extra loud blanks just in case.
Vinny: Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?
Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.
#3 - The Big LebowskiJeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski is the ultimate LA slacker, until one day his house is broken into and his rug is peed on by two angry gangsters who have mistaken him for Jeffrey Lebowski, the LA millionaire, whose wife owes some bad people some big money. The Dude becomes entangled in the plot when he goes to visit the real Lebowski in order to get some retribution for his soiled rug, and is recruited to be the liason between Lebowski and the captors of his now kidnapped wife.
Lots of people don't like this film, but I don't think they're smart enough to get it to be honest. There's a lot of wishy washy shit but at hte core it's fucking genius comedy. I really don't like the Coen brothers so for me to say that's something.
Priceless Lines:
The Dude: What's in the fuckin' carrier?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
The Dude: You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.
The Dude: Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?
The Dude: My rug.
Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element!
The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
The Dude: Jeez, Walter, I'm not talking about the guys who built the fucking railroad here.
#2 - The Big HitMelvin Smiley, a successful young hitman, is living a normal all-day life for his jewish fiancé Pam, but kills for money in Paris' organization. In addition, he has a relationship with a beauty from the neighbourhood and gets bothered by a pimply video store guy, because he did not return "King Kong Lives" for two weeks. He and his three teammates Cisco, Crunch and Vince one day decide to kidnap the daughter of super-rich businessman Jiro Nishi - off the record. What they do not know, is that Jiro just went completely bankrupt due to a successless movie production, and, even worse, that his daughter Keiko is the god-daughter of Paris, the boss of the kidnappers. He and his men are now searching for the kidnappers in order to grind them up properly. Meanwhile, handcuffed Keiko falls in love with killer Melvin while both preparing a kosher meal in order to satisfy Pam's visiting parents, who are out of the house with Pam - with a body in the trunk.
You know that you're gonna need to take this movie with a pinch of salt when within about twenty minutes you can already guess the entire plot-lines and/or twists/surprise endings. You also know that you're going to need to let things slide when after killing about fifty bodyguards with technology better than what George Jetson had, instead of running away, Marky Mark decides to do the only feasible thing and BLOW UP AN ENTIRE STOREY OF A HOTEL, only managing to survive via some bungee cord and the most obvious CGI in cinema history.
This movie is still a fucking gem, don't care what you say. It also has the BEST SUB-PLOT EVER, involving a video rental store and King Kong Lives.
I really can't give any great quotes from this film, because seriously, it's all about Lou Diamond Phillips and how he delivers it. YOU NEED TO SEE THIS FILM.
#1 - White Men Can't JumpIt is impossible to state how funny this film is. My brother bought the DVD for like 5 pound or something, and I think we've watched it like at least sixty times since.
Wesley Snipes is GENIUS is this film. I will bum blade till my eyes roll back in my head, but his performance in this film is perfect.
The story is about Billy, a white guy (Harrelson) and Sydney, a black guy (Snipes) who both think they're the best basketball hustlers in town, who join forces to rip people off by betting high stakes because Billy is a 'white-boy' and everyone knows white people are shit at basketball.
Priceless lines:
Sidney Deane: Hey hey man, what's the score? Yo! Chump! I'm talking to you! I'm talking to the fucking air.
Billy Hoyle: My name ain't chump, it's Billy Hoyle.
Sidney Deane: Billy Hoyle. BILLY HOYLE. Billy Hoyle. Okay Billy... can you count to ten, Billy?
Billy Hoyle: Yeah.
Sidney Deane: Good. What's the score... Billy?
Billy Hoyle: I don't know.
Sidney Deane: Then you're a chump.
Billy Hoyle: I may be a chump, I just said that wasn't my name.
B Junior: Told your mom to act her age, and the bitch dropped dead!
Raymond: GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY!
Shop-Keeper: Raymond... That's you.
Raymond:Nah, nah this ain't Raymond.
Shop-Keeper:Take off that mask and put down that gun.
Raymond:Shieet.. Loan me some money man, come on I gotta couple of chumps on the line, loan me some money man.
Shop-Keeper:GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.