I can almost guarantee arguement here. My mailbox is gonna swell like a mother fucker.
The fact is that I've had so many arguements with people about this film, that it's getting to be a major fucking head-ache. It happens the same way every time, we argue, joust back and forth and then whoever I'm debating with leans back in their chair and says "it's okay if you don't get it" and then they laugh and assume that their rapier wit and bullet-proof come back has somehow won them the arguement.
Anyway, I'm gonna settle it once and for all.
There were only five good films this year. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Finding Neverland, Sideways, The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby and Garden State. I'm sorry, but Closer doesn't even touch them. And here's why.
NOTE: First of all, know that I have no problem with challenging or disturbing films. Requiem for a Dream, while I don't like watching it, I appreciate as one of the best films I have ever seen. As with American History X.
Bullet-proof come-back #1 - "It's so fucking real"
Bullshit. The actions of the characters are so inconsistant, it's impossible to take them seriously, which is paramount if a film like this is going to work. Clive Owen's character bounds from innocent and nice to retarded to insanely angry to pathetic to fuck you who is he? Multiple personality man? Furthermore, because the film's adapted from a (great) play, the language of the characters is ridiculously over-blown and poetic. The line "Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood!" creates a powerful image, but nobody speaks like that in real life. Fans say the film purpots to be real but when your life falls apart, you don't suddenly a develop a Shakespearean wit for articulation. You fucking cry and hit things and try your absolute hardest to articulate your feelings but you don't pull metaphors out of your ass in an attempt to win back whomever you've lost.
Which leads on to...
Bullet-proof come-back #2 - "Yeah but people aren't consistant, that's what's REAL!"
Yeah, I don't doubt that, but let's look at it objectively. Julia Roberts loves Jude Law, then she's somehow seduced by a pervert at an aquarium, which causes her to fall in love with the pervert so much so that they get married, then she cheats on him with Jude Law, following which she is so hopelessly in love with Law that she tries to get a divorce, by fucking Clive Owen, after which, she decides to leave Jude Law for Clive Owen again! COME ON, what more do you need to realise that we've transcended into a realm of COMPLETE FANTASY!?
Bullet-proof come-back #3 - "These are just 4 really fucked up people."
Okay, fine. That's completely acceptable. But where's the fucking back-story? Where's the background? Why are they so fucked up? That's the difference between a mediocre film and a great one. As a viewer you have no sympathy for any of the characters because they just seem to be terrible human beings, you don't see them interact with anyone else, so you have no way of placing yourself in their shoes. You've got no reason to like them or even sympathise with them. We've got a pervert internet chat group whore who when learns that his wife has cheated on him sets out to fuck up others' lives, a life-ruining cheat and a compulsive womaniser with a pathalogical need for guilt and jealousy. With the exception of Natalie Portman, they should all rot anyway.
This is why the play works on so much more of a level that the movie does: Portman's character (the only redeemable person) dies at the end of the play--- SPOILER --- ^- Highlight that.
Bullet-proof come-back #4 - "It's a PLAY for heaven's sakes!"
No it isn't.
I heard someone say to me the other day that the ending of the story is complete, because nobody is happy. I've got to disagree with this, sure CLive Owen might feel some regret for the way he fucked around with both Law and Portman, but at the end of the day, we come to realise that he's a devious fucker anyway, and probably feels not guilt whatsoever. He gets what he wanted and that's that. On the other hand, Natalie Portman's character, it has to be agreed also ends up happy. The image that resonates from her character is one of constant change, she takes guys, fucks them over and then leaves them, we heard when we first met her that she only came to England to run away from a guy, who she presumably did the exact same thing (as Jude Law) with. Oh and how do we know she didn't really love Jude Law? How bout the fact that she never even told him her fucking name.
The thing that kills me I guess, is that I love arguement about anything, most of all film, and I've had more than my fair share of arguement over tripe heaps like Van Helsing and 2 Fast 2 Furious. I just imagine that with a film as artsy as Closer, that the die-hards could at least been more articulate or thoughtful about their reasoning.
To everyone that's faught with me about this film, I'm sorry, but you're wrong. It's not great. Yeah it won awards, but NOT FOR THE FILM. Portman and Owen won stuff (I think) but for fucking performances. That means nothing absolutely nothing. Let it win awards for script or the film as a whole. Oh what's that, films adapted from plays have it harder? Two words: Glengarry Glenross.
Hot.
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And P.S. what about from now on instead of trying to defend the film for what it is, how about contemplating the issues that the writer wanted you to, like how at the start when Jane (Portman) gets hit by the car, she actually "dies" and chooses to be Alice instead, in order to escape. Or at the very end of the film, when she's walking along like at the start, the camera pans up and just before fading to black, we see the traffic sign switch to "Don't Walk", either she just died, or the whole cycle is just gonna start again. Things to think about...
And by the way, I'm not that elitist about cinema, I can accept that if you really like this film then fine, I don't dispute that (how can you be wrong when stating a preference?), all that pisses me off is when people accuse me of being or try to make out like I'm too stupid to understand the film and that's why I don't like it.
