The characters of THE O.C.: Ryan
By James
So for about a couple of months, I listened to people tell me how awesome The O.C. was, but then listened to Louis and my inner hate for teen bopper shitty tutti fruity Beverly Hills 90210 Dawson's Creek shit shows. And as a result, never watched it. Fast forward to late August 2004, and I'm in England, I've got absolutely fuck all to do, except wish I was in Malaysia, and so anyway I'm lying in that limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness, when I flip over the channel and see a fucking goddess. I'm not kidding. She was almost as hot as Scarlett Johansson in that perfume ad. I said almost let's not exagerate.
alright I'm lazy, that picture doesn't do justice.
Anyway, press the info button and it's The O.C. I sit and watch, and I'm sorry all guys in the world, but I...
lliked it.
Ryan Atwood (Ben Mckenzie)
Initially, when I was being told to succumb to the O.C. the main reason my girlfriend gave, that I should watch it, was that I'm exactly like 'Ryan', like in terms of personality and mannerisms and shit, which is a nice change since I'm usually told my mannerisms are exactly like Eric from That 70s Show. And anyway, seeing as how she's the person who's seen me the most for like the last two years, when she says that, it's probably true. So if you think he's a fucking twat, then sorry ladies. And guys, well fuck, I really couldn't give a shit so continue to twirl on it.
From what I can gather from what I've seen, Ryan is an ex-bad boy, cum lone high-school student/model son. He does well in school I imagine, and enjoys a fucking easy life, living it large with his adopted family.
Like I said, he's a loner, but don't think that because of that he has a shitty life. Far fucking from it, he's banging Marissa, and is therefore bestowed with the title of god among his peers. He also has his very own butt buddy, whose is nowhere near cool enough for me to remember his name, all I remember about him is that he has that centre parting hair-style, you know the one that you had when you were like twelve?
Ryan also, is characterised by his acting expression. Or absolute lack thereof. The truth is, Ryan has a grand total of one look. It's a pissed off/slightly smouldering yet calm look, and every once in a while, when the director decides to really, and I mean really fucking shake things up, he asks him to roll his eyes. But not often at all. I've seen it once in my life, and it ranks all the way up there with experiencing comets, shooting stars and witnessing Leeds United beat Deportivo la Caruna three nil in the champions league semi-final three years ago.
Although a very calm and collect person in the show, you can just tell that underneath, sometimes, Ryan's just about to fucking snap, and go absolutely ape shit on someone. I've not seen that many episodes, and I've not seen him unleash the whoop that we know is in him, but I eagerly anticipate it. And I hope it's on either Summer or the guy with the centre parting. I hate that guy.
One thing that I really don't like about the O.C. is that because it's like a day time, teen show, everyone in Orange County apparently watches their language, no matter the occasion. Perfect example, the last episode I saw, Ryan is playing pool, when this fucking nut job Oliver reveals his nefarious plan to steal Ryan's chick and stands their gloating about it and shit, so Ryan just fucking loses it and punches him in the face a couple of times before being pulled off of him, by random student bystanders #1 and #2. Now, in this scene (which is by far my favourite ever, I love it.) Ryan is shouting "Stay away from her! Stay away from her!" while Oliver is bleeding on the floor.
There is no way that would ever happen real life.
Any guy in that instance, not forgetting that Ryan is an ex-bad ass, in real life, he would have just fucking taken that pool cue and broken it over Oliver's head, and then beaten the life from him with whatever he had left in his hands. And everybody hates Oliver, so there's no way anyone would have pulled Ryan off, they would have just sat back got and beer and been like "Good fucking riddance."
The most stupid bit though, was what he was shouting. Yeah he wants him to stay away from her, but come on, seriously, in that situation, he is not going to be minding his language. He's going to be yelling "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRL, YOU SON OF A FUCKING WHORE. OTHERWISE YOU'RE GONNA GET THIS FUCKING CUE IN YOUR FUCKING FACE. EVERY DAY, FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL FUCKING LIFE. YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON HER AND YOU'RE GONNA BE SUCKING YOUR BREAKFAST THROUGH A FUCKING RED AND WHITE STRAW. YOU FUCKING GET ME? NOW GET THE FUCK UP AND WIPE YOURSELF UP. YOU BLEEDING"
Ok, maybe not that last bit, I just watched Rush Hour. But certainly the first part.
Superhero Ryan reminds me most of: The Incredible Hulk.
Watch, as Oliver plays a fool:
OLIVER: So, I just made you break up with your girl-friend, tough shit man.
RYAN: SHhh can't you see I'm meditating? Don't make me angry... You won't like me when I'm angry. What did you say?
OLIVER: I said now that you two have broke up, I'm gonna bang her in my upper class appartment. How'd you like that?
NOW OBSERVE THE TRANSFORMATION:
......FEEL.....
THE.....
......RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OLIVER: Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.
MARISSA: What have you done??? It's amazing, my knack for entering a situation at the worst possible time, on every single occasion! How long will this go on?! Is this the only way the writers can think of to make the plot continue?!
Anyway yeah. Ryan's my favourite character, I don't know what the situation is in Malaysia, but in England it's every Monday on E4, don't listen to anyone (well, except me), just watch it, it's pretty cool.