Here are a few of the top 20 search strings for suckball

1. Ashanti
2. Ball sucking
3. France soccer team
4. Bonsai Kittens
5. .
6. .
7. .
8. cubicow
9. .
10. .
11. www. john travolta.com

The second my eyes glanced over that search string, I was ready to slit my wrists open with a blunt spoon. Needless to say, I type that into google and find Suckball second on the list…..nevermind that the bright blue text link screaming SUCKBALL.COM - JOHN TRAVOLTA.

I don’t know what bothers me more, the fact that a search for john travolta brings people to Suckball or that SEVERAL PEOPLE searched for the term www.john travolta.com after typing it in their bar didn’t work. JOHN SPACE TRAVOLTA.COM?!?! COME ON

I pursue further and search for the term www.john-travolta.com as that is the search term that google picked up and to my horror, we’re #1.

Just before slice open my jugular, at least there is some humour in being #1 in the search for John Travolta the scientologist guru. A summary of the linked article writes “As long as I have control over my body and have my own computer, the address http://www.john-travolta.com will never appear under my history….” Oh the irony.

Way to go in our quest to convince people this isn’t a gay site James.

——

John Stewart on stem cell research. Hilariousititiesies ensues.