UPDATES

There you go. This is the end of the article, because no words could POSSIBLY describe AVP (alien vs predator) better than the word "suck"....with the exception of jabbing-your-testicles-with-a-blunt-fork-is-more-fun-than-watching-this-movie.

I told James that there is no WAY in hell this movie will ever be good, for the simple fact that its pretty much impossible to link two completely different stories together, Alien and Predator. It's like mixing ketchup + chilli with....shit and ice cream. Is there any way in hell that'll ever taste good?

My point exactly.

I don't know what brought me to finally agree to watch the movie, either I was hoping for them to pull off the impossible and actually have a decent story.....or i'm a fucking idiot. And now after watching the movie, I have finally come to accept, that I - Louis Tan, am a fucking idiot.

*Warning, spoilers ahead. But you don't want to watch the movie anyway, so read on*

That was the main tagline for the movie.....and it has ABSOLUTELY NO RELEVANCE TO THE MOVIE AT ALL, because the humans teamed up with predator to defeat the Alien. SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

Humans teamed up with Predator? Am I serious? Oh yeah. I couldn't control my hysterical laughter when I saw Predator making a weapon for the humans from the Alien's corpse. A spear with the Alien's tail, and a shield with the head. I wish I was kidding. No really, I wish I was.

I'm going to attempt to write a summary of how the AVP storyline goes without laughing....nope. Didn't work.

ALIEN VS PREDATOR STORYLINE SUMMARY

The Predator species owned the earth far before humans ruled it, therefore they were worshipped as gods. The Predators finally left the earth for the humans to prosper themselves, however, every 100 years, 3 Predators would come to earth to a temple where they've trapped Aliens to be used for a hunting game, as a form of rites of passage.

(Rites of passage - A ritual or ceremony signifying an event in a person's life indicative of a transition from one stage to another, as from adolescence to adulthood, as in shit you gotta do to become a man)

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I honestly don't know how people can bust millions of dollars to produce a film BASED on that storyline.

I've really nothing else to say. This movie is one of the shittiest movies i've ever seen. The fight scenes weren't that great, their acting sucked, the visuals were WAY overrated and...i don't want to think about the storyline.

Well, again, this is MY OPINION of how incredibly lousy the movie is. You might enjoy it, because the person next to me was sitting at the edge of his seat, quickly explaining to his excited friend exactly what weapon Predator was using and nearly peed on himself when they brought out the cannon.

nerds.

Possibly the ONLY THING I would give credit to this movie is the pictures/posters they made for the movie, as Alien/Predator look pretty fucking cool. Apart from that, this movie really sucks.
Rating out of 10 : -4