Last Samurai Rebuttal

Tom Cruise needed to fucking die

*bs- Bullshit

Please read James article before proceeding

So what? So he didn't die even though he got shot, what's the big deal? People who got shot in the arm don't usually die.

That's not the point. The point is that the Samurais were going into a battle they were
DEFINITELY going to die in. As I mentioned before, a thousand bullets were fired, mortars
tearing everyone apart. Of the 500 samurais who have gone into battle, what are the chances
that the American GI JOE is the only person  who DOESN'T EVEN GET mortally wounded
and survives?

100%, because it was a typical American bs.

What's so far-fetched about this? This is what is called a *plot*.

Who the hell would want to listen to a story about an American

who killed a samurai and then was locked in a pagoda with an ugly

woman who beat him? Besides, no one said that she fell in love with him,

that's just your interpretation, it could easily be said that she was just upset

because she didn't want to see any more people die, what with her husband and brother gone.

"all japanese chiqs want us Americans so badly" - where did they ever imply that? Everyone in the village

hated Cruise when he got there, no other woman had a speaking role. It was only that was taking care of him,

getting to know him that started to have feelings for him.

No, that is what you call a *shitty plot*. I sure as hell did not want to see a movie where guy kills husband,
pisses on his grave by stealing wife and children. My interpretation? They bloody hell kissed! Women back then
weren't hos like the women now. They don't go around randomly kissing men. He goes back to her in the ending!
If she was so upset and didn't want to see anyone else die, how come Tom was so lucky to be the only person
to get a kiss?

Put yourself into that situation. Imagine some girl killed your girlfriend/boyfriend, would you have feelings for him/her after

you "got to know him"?

(Btw, rhetorical question. Your significant other would kill you if you said yes)

"all japanese chiqs want us Americans so badly"...ignore that. My failed attempt at humour :D

First of all, Cruise was a fucking war hero, it's obvious he could fight. If you gave Bruce Lee a ton of body fat,
he'd be the world champion Sumo wrestler any time. Just one-inch-punch the suckers. It was just a matter of time
before Cruise grew accustomed to the sword, before he could use it well.
 

Adding fat to Bruce Lee is irrelevant to my point. That's just...putting fat on Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee trained every single

day for his entire life to be the best fighter in the world. If Bruce Lee decided to kick back and drink beer for the rest

of his life, he will UNDOUBTEDLY be much weaker than he was before.

As seen in the movie, every Samurai devotes their entire life to training since they're little kids.  We can safely assume

that Tom trained mainly with guns than with the sword (as he is so accurate in the beginning of the movie)

He then opens a can of whoop-ass on the samurais who tried to take him on in the jungle, killing like 10 of them

with his 1337 sword skills he pulled out of his ass.

However, I can understand that Tom Cruise would be MUCH better at strategy, as he was a captain before. But I will not

accept him killing over 10 samurai dudes with his sword.

And second of all, he never beat their best fighter, he drew, and for pretty much the whole movie, he was shown to be
and inferior to the rest of the samurai, he even needed the little kid's help when the ninjas came. His purpose was
more strategic that because of his awesome fighting abilities.

"Then comes the all-american-hero who almost beats their best fighter in less than a year of training!"

I said almost.

Samurai = 30+ years of training

American = 1 year of training

Draw? Man, imagine if American trained for 30+ years! He'd be fucking invincible!

Why I have problems with these....problems

It's because they're trying to combine realism with bullshit. See, I have no issues with rambo, because the movie was

based on a badass kicking terrorist ass. He dodged bullets, killed thousands of terrorists and never seems to die. Cool,

because the movie wasn't based on realism, just...regular bs.

Last Samurai was meant to be realistic, portraying the Japanese culture, the way of a Samurai, the slaughter of the

Indians etc.

Then we have the American dude riding across a grassland with a thousand soldiers firing at him at the same time

while he throws his sword to kill another evil American dude, breaks through, rides towards a gatling gun and

is the only person who survives the blizzard of bullets.