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Shower Pissing
Along with the billion complains about guys, ranging from butt scratching to crotch adjusting in public, girls have never been able to understand, why do men do these things? It's disgusting, it's dirty and it's not at all visually appealing. The points i'm about to write about can be applied to many many things in life today, this is a funny AND educational article. You will see that i'm right after i'm done. How it all began To understand why males almost always piss in the shower, we need to examine everything from the beginning, back to when we were little toddlers. As studied in psychology & sociology, during the early stages of development, kids relate everything to pleasure/no pleasure as they have not developed a conscience yet. Candy is sweet, therefore candy is good. Toys are fun, therefore toys are good. Stealing is bad because I get punished, therefore stealing is bad. *
So now we relate this to pissing. Firstly, take a look at how female genitals are placed. It is really hard for females to piss without dribbling down their leg.
Whereas males, with out multi-directional joystick, we are able to manipulate the direction of where our piss is going to end up, heck, we can even piss onto our faces if we really wanted to.
Females : Pissing in a shower means warm piss dribbling down leg, therefore pissing in shower is bad. Males : Pissing in a shower means not needing to aim in a bowl (you don't even need to use hands), therefore pissing a shower is good!
Punishment
I've never been punished for pissing in a shower therefore I didn't relate pissing in a shower to punishment. So pissing has always been fundamentally good, and it saves a gallon of flushing water** too.
Conditioning
So from our childhood, our bodies get conditioned to shower=pissing. I'm not fucking kidding, whenever warm water from the shower touches my body, I have this incredible urge to piss, because my body has been conditioned. ***
Don't you find it disgusting though?
Actually, I don't. I don't really see anything wrong with it apart from the fact that if you're in a small cubicle, it stinks of piss. Apart from that, i'm saving water, it's so convenient and it's just so damn natural. And I know for a fact, that many males don't find anything wrong with it whatsoever.
We're doing our part in the world by saving water, stop complaining.
Summing it up
So there you have it. I, Louis Tan, have discovered the secret on why males like to piss in showers.
Simply, we piss in the showers because we've been doing it since we were kids, it felt good for us (females dribble down leg remember?) we weren't ever punished for it and our bodies have gotten used to it.
In fact, I think I do it every single time I shower. How about that? If I had a girlfriend, I could piss on her and blame it on the fact that its because i'm so used to pissing in the shower.....and she's in my way.
That sounds like an excellent idea, I got to find me one.
* Don't even THINK of trying to prove me wrong on this point. No matter what you say, kids do NOT have a conscience till they grow older. Our conscience is based on what we learn in society, so until kids learn what social norms/expectations are, they wont have a conscience because they don't know what is wrong or right yet.
E.g. If you grew up in a culture where sex is wrong and you had sex, you feel guilt. If you grew up in a culture where sex isn't wrong, no guilt.
Conscience is learnt. I rule, you blow.
**A single flush takes a gallon of water. That's a whole lot of water, save the whales god damn you.
*** Here's a fun prank and it's been proven to work. When a male is asleep, get a bucket of warm water and submerge his hand in it. It's almost guaranteed that he'll piss the bed. I'm not sure whether it works on women, but, relate my theory with this and you'll understand why this works too. |