A compilation of strange

I bet this shit journal is bringing my non-existant sexappeal down to a negative (if that is possible)

It's disturbing that my shit journal is actually quite a "hit" in my university. This shows that americans are generally weird.

Alright, my shit journal has actually gotten so popular that someone requested that I write about them (well, her). And boy do I have a lot to write about her.

Firstly, her name is Lisa and she is this pretty, blond austrian girl....with big breasts (sorry, I just had to add that). Well, that's not the interesting bit, the interesting bit is actually her little weird...phobias and fetishes.

(Btw, Lisa if you're reading this and you want this off, just tell me. Nothing is meant to offend you in ANY way)

Alright, firstly she hates feet. HATES feet, in fact, she hates feet so much that at one point in time, she couldn't even look at feet. I'll give you an example of how bad this is. If she is having sex, and her partner isn't wearing socks, and his feet is RUBBING against HER feet. She'd go dry in a second, pull up her underwear and cease from being able to get horny for a year.

So she pretty much wears socks 24-7.

2) You are only allowed to see one breast at a time
 

Yes, doesn't that just scare the hell out of you? I mean her boyfriend, who deflowered her hasn't ever seen both her tits at once.

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Alright. I'm behind my shit journals. I'm terribly sorry. I'm also behind my emails, but that was totally irrelevant.

I just took a crap, and, HOLY SHIT. I wiped and it turned the whole tissue paper RED. Like, you're having a terrible nose bleed, and you blood a square of toilet paper. I'm worried. What do i do!

(It's been happening for weeks. Just not so bad thats all. Am i going to die?)

Sigh. Moving on.

On another occasion, while i was taking a crap. There were two guys, having fun, farting, shitting, wiping and having an active conversation. How in the WORLD can people have active conversations while taking a shit. There should be a fucking law against that. It's just wrong

Plain and simply wrong.

Unless people are having sex in a cubicle, conversations should be BANNED in the toilet. Even then, if someone else enters the toilet, the couple having sex are not allowed to fucking say a word. Hell, even if the 3rd person starts taking an atomic SHIT, it's too bad for the couple. They'll have to learn sign language. Nuff said.

I owe people emails. I have to do my laundry. My ass is bleeding. I'm freezing my nuts off. I'm miserable and I hate you too. :(

Bye