I miss

Skin on skin.

I've been in England for over three months now, I complain about the food on a daily basis, the smelly toilets, the showers, the teachers, the americans. There is an endless amount of things I can't stand here, but the thing I miss most is skin on skin.

I was thinking about it all last night. The feeling of skin on skin with the person you have genuine feelings for is unexplainable. I pity the people who have never felt what i'm talking about, because words will never do it justice.

You could claim that I just miss sex, which I can't deny but skin on skin is beyond that.

"I want to taste the salt of your skin"

Sure, I get hugs every now and then. Artificial conventional hugs, you don't see a friend in a long time, give a hug, handshake whatever. There ya go, skin on skin.

No. Not quite.

I imagine if I ever had a one night stand, I would get up and leave as soon as i'm done. I would hate waking up next to someone I don't feel for. It would be awkward, i wouldn't know anything about her.

Furthermore, there is nothing greater than falling asleep with someone in your arms without even knowing it. Last thing you remember is having a conversation and you have absolutely no clue how you fell asleep.

Then you wake up, and for just that moment, nothing in the world disturbs you. There is nothing else in your mind except the thought of the person next to you. You stop thinking about your pointless existence, about how miserable your life is because for that single instant, nothing feels wrong. Nothing.

If I could think of a purpose to exist, it would be for that moment.