I just glanced over someone’s (who I will not name, but will know who they are) website, that gave Michael Mann’s HEAT 6/10!! SIX OUT OF TEN!! What the hell?? Probably the greatest crime thriller in the last twenty fucking years and it’s a 6/10 and the only comment is that Natalie Portman is cute in it!! I don’t really have anything to say about that, it’s just that I’ve now figured no one who reads this (if there is anyone left) watches ONE TREE HILL, and so the last rant I wrote up basically constitutes a colossal fucking waste of time save for the minor therapeutic value. I don’t want to talk about HEAT, but I will say for you to enjoy one of the greatest scenes of all time:

But I don’t want to talk about HEAT. But nor do I want to talk about the shit that I’m thinking about right now or any of that gay bullshit that reminds me what I’m doing right now is essentially blogging. And I despise blogging. I hate blogging the way that I hate holocaust-deniers, or Usher videos. Still, because Louis is too lazy doing whatever the fuck he is doing I feel impelled to every now and then come on here and write something so that it doesn’t go stale. What I don’t want to do right now though, is talk about how HEAT offers an insight into the seemingly diametric personality types found in criminals and those in their pursuit. I don’t want to talk about HEAT at all. Let’s just look at Pacino being awesome:

Here’s something else I hate: that more people aren’t watching LOST. What the fuck are you people watching or doing that is honestly better than LOST? That thing is one of the best things to ever be on television. That thing would be the best things on television right now even if they started broadcasting some kind of Playboy Mansion Blowjob Olympics. The show has everything - hot chicks (Evangeline Lilly, the Korean chick, not that sweaty blonde other chick), mantastic dudes (Matthew Fox, the dude who plays Sawyer, whose name I forget), and oh yeah, some of the best fucking writing ever. Can you tell me why you aren’t watching this thing? Or would you rather see Pacino be badass again?

Good lord PRISON BREAK got real shit, real fast, am I right? That chunky spec ops chick literally commands like a hundred men, you’re telling me they couldn’t break one guy out of that shitty prison in back water South America? How that show jumped the shark so bad is beyond me, although Brett Ratner is a producer so I’d like to think he played a part in it. Him knocking the artistic shit out of the X-MEN franchise lends some fairly weighty credence to this. I love the whole moving an entire bridge thing - that was dynamite. Speaking of which, you know who would have been the shit in an X-MEN film? Robert DeNiro. Watch him be awesome in HEAT:

Given my occupation I know that lots of people have lots of different opinions on films, and I respect those opinions, but sometimes I am just amazed! Not that I’m talking about any particular movie here, just in general.