Dear sir,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the offer to buy Suckball.com on the 21st of September.

However, I regret to inform you that I cannot accept your offer. I hope I am not out of line in saying this, but your offer of $500 USD is simply miserable. The traffic and revenue Suckball achieves yearly is worth at least ten times your offer.

Please do not take the declination of your offer as an insult. Even if you were to offer $5000 USD, a house and a lamborghini, I would have still refused…..Unless you could throw in Adriana Lima to sweeten the deal.

The way I look at it, Suckball.com is sitting on a goldmine of opportunity. The possibilities of revenue using the name “Suckball” is endless! Think about the merchandise we could possibly produce, such as; tshirts, mugs, porn videos and bumper stickers, just to name a few. Can you imagine the horde of teenagers wearing a shirt saying something like

Suckball

Because fuck ball just sounds painful.

or

Scukball.

Because fcukball would be unoriginal.

Finally, I get so much pleasure hearing people go “Suck what dot com? Are you sure it’s not a porn?” whenever I mention my website, it has got to be borderline illegal.

Thank you for your interest and your offer, but i’m afraid you have to look elsewhere. I believe fuckball is probably for sale.

-Louis