I watch the OC on a pretty regular basis, but I have absolutely no idea why. The first season was solid, but ever since Julie Cooper decided the best course of action to get rid of a pornographer would be to go to his hotel room with a loaded pistol the show has kind of fallen apart. The reason for this is that the writers suck and the principal cast is too small.

I don’t watch One Tree Hill or any of those other shit puddles and I would not recommend any of them, because from what I can tell they’re exactly the same as The OC except in the case of One Tree Hill, instead of starring someone who was vaguely cool about 40 episodes ago, there’s a guy who gets married more than most of us take a shit after mexican food. I got pushed into the show by my ex-girlfriend and can quite honestly say this is unthankfully the only legacy she has left me.

I think that the thing that pisses me off most about The OC is their dispensability with hot characters. Previously, the hottest character on the show was Kirsten’s sister whose name escapes me but appearence does not. She featured in a handful of episodes and then disappeared for no apparent reason except that the show was getting a little bit too interesting. Then, they introduce a girl who I *think* was called Chloe in the last episode who will almost certainly never appear again, unless in six seasons time, every possibly plot direction is exhausted (Julie Cooper having divorced every post-pubescant man in Orange County, Ryan having a workable relationship and Kirsten not drinking) they need her to reappear and be pregnant with Ryan’s baby. SHe was CRAZY HOT, why are we writing her out? The only reason I can see for that is that I looked her up on IMDB and apparently she was in that awful Nick Cannon movie where he plays a cop (that should be enough for a laugh), and therefore I can kind of understand the prejudice.

What else annoys me about the OC is their tried and tested method of dealing with relationship related problems: walking away and leaving a note.

Apparently this is the only way in which people in Orange County can deal with problems that involve two people of the opposite gender. No wonder Ryan is fucked up, every time his fucking mom appears she disappears and leaves a note, as does any random trailer trash girl he hooks up with who reaches the end of her recurring episode quota. If I have to sit and watch Ryan’s hand slowly reach for a folded piece of paper, see him read it and then slow pan out I will kill myself.

I read that Mischa Barton wants to get out of the show and its sending the OC into crisis.

Solution: Let her fucking walk. She’s the worst fucking thing on the show as it is, she’s ugly and skinny, a bitch and one nasal snort away from being a full time crack whore.

I read that Samaire Armstrong returns, clearly Summer and Marissa wasn’t enough ugly for the show. Also, There are only three more episodes before the end of the season, so some shit has to go down. In a WELL WRITTEN show, I’d be wondering what’s coming, but unfortunately the show hasn’t been well written since Marissa went to Mexico and almost died, or when WELCOME TO THE OC BITCH happened.

Therefore, we can safely assume that since Ryan’s relationship with that girl with the John Travolta chin has ended, something big has to happen to him. Gee I wonder what. Presumably through some ironic twist of fate he will run into the only girl uglier than Summer or Marissa who he for no apparent reason chose to impregnate, she can’t tell him about his son, because honesty is NOT the OC way, that’s like their golden rule. No, he has to run into the kid or something. Whatever. So she’ll come back, visually cause a seizure, and then alert Ryan to the knowledge he has a child, thus bringing about a heart-wrenching scene where he finds out he wrestles with the idea of leaving and helping raise the child, set to some sad bastard music probably ripped off somewhere by Matt Pond PA* FOR THE SECOND SEASON OUT OF THREE.

Is there any logical way we can not see Seth and Summer getting back together? I doubt it. Maybe they’ll re-enact a momentous event from a comic book movie. No, wait they already did that. Who knows then, all we know is that it will happen, probably in the final episode of the season. And the last line over the fade out will be some stupid comment from Seth.

Ah enough venting. The show sucks but why can I not stop watching it. I guess the final episode will be either Julie Cooper and Summer’s ugly dad getting married, the graduation, or a combination of both. If it’s the former, I’d like to congratulate the writers on ending the third season the EXACT SAME WAY THEY ENDED THE FIRST.

*Matt Pond PA - respectable until they stole my favourite song ‘In the Aeroplane Over The Sea’ by Neutral Milk Hotel and butchered it and then put it in an episode of The OC.