I need to get one. Seriously. Not a cheap plastic one from above, nor this £349.95 one, yet.
A brief history lesson about Top Hats:

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now how the term “Mad hatter” came about, but to be more specific, it was because of the top hat.

“The coarse guard hairs were plucked from the beaver pelt which was then brushed with a solution of nitrate of mercury, to raise the scales on the fur shafts so that they would lock together firmly, a process known as ‘carotting’. If carried out in a poorly ventilated room, the mercury fumes could damage the brain, hence the expression, ‘as mad as a hatter’.”

Also, it has been said that it was first invented in Canton in 1775 by a Chinese hatter for a frenchman….but we all know that the Chinese invented everything, hence the expression “made in China” (there is no god, only the Chinese?)

To sum it all up, I need a top hat.