Well I heard on E! News last night that a member of the principal cast of the O.C. is going to get killed off in the season finale… Which is today I think. Anyway as much as it pains me to write two articles on the OC in a row, and there’s a very high probability that I’ll be completely wrong, lets look at the odds.

 

Summer Roberts

Of the principal cast, she’s the only one who is anywhere near humanoid looking. Killing off her character would be catastrophic. Her one-trick pony-ness is matched only by her boyfriend, but let’s face it the show is about the two of them now. Also she fell head first from the pirate ship that was in the Goonies THAT IS AWESOME.

Chance of dying: no chance

Seth Cohen

Seth has the acting range of an erect penis so I can’t see as other avenues are exactly bursting open for him. His role in Mr and Mrs Smith was basically Seth Cohen in a suit. He gets to go to work with his girlfriend every day and is pretty much the star of his own tv show.

Chance of dying: no chance

Sandy Cohen

I don’t think Peter Gallacher could ever die. Imagine if you tried to shoot him, he’d just pull off one of his eyebrows and deflect the bullet with it. Drowning in the ocean? Grab hold of the eye brow and float your way to safety.

Chance of dying: wholly unlikely

Ryan Atwood

You have to think it would be way too bold a move to have Ryan die. Unless this is secretly the final season, in which case it would be awesome to have him killed off. Although, that said, Ryan is basically the younger, male version of Julie Cooper. Any plot involving him is basically some new broad he’s hooking up with, things dont work out because she isn’t Marissa, so she runs away and leaves a note. In the last episode he hooked up with Theresa. This made NO LOGICAL SENSE. She’s ugly, can’t dress and isn’t Marissa. It’s clear how this will end.

Chance of dying: Not likely

Julie Cooper

There was a time when I thought she was the hottest character on the show. There was also a time when I thought I was going to grow up and fly around the galaxy with Captain Bucky O’Hare. It’s amazing what two seasons can do for you. Ultimately, I think it’s probably a plot necessity that she gets killed off, seeing as how the only possible plot avenue she gives the show is marriage, and 4 marriages in 4 seasons might be a little too much.

Chance of dying: likely

Marissa Cooper

Mischa desperately wants to leave the show, so why not have her conveniently killed at the end of this season? However, the thing that makes me think it wont be her is that E! News reported she would be back for guest spots next season and more importantly “this plot twist, the studio has been planning for 6 months”. Well if a show that has had my attention for over a year took 6 months to plan the death of the most annoying person on the fucking planet then I should be ashamed of myself. In an ideal world, we’ll get the principal cast member killed via falling off a cliff, and at the last minute, she’ll grab Marissa’s ankle and drag her down with them as kind of a bonus.

Chance of dying: very likely

Kirsten Cohen

I would figure she’d be the easiest person to kill off considering her character is completely and utterly inconsequential. Will she drink won’t she drink who gives a flying squirrel what she does. Drunk driving is my guess.

Chance of dying: probably best bet